Finding Balance
- acapece
- Feb 3, 2018
- 3 min read
My life may seem put together not unbalanced at all. But it is quite unhinged in many different ways. I am currently taking my life back, getting my life steadier spiritually and physically.
I’m working on finding my relationship with God, I feel like I have to reevaluate this with each episode/trial. I teeter on my independence and my strength and hope I have in him. Reading devotionals, having quite time, and posting bible verses in the house are all good/necessary reminders but some days I still feel empty. Encouragement is always welcome!! I try to do this all on my own and realize in more ways than one that I cannot. I have fallen on my knees begging God for a sign, sometimes screaming for God to take this away. I don’t understand why God has given this to me. Verses like God doesn’t give you more than you can handle don’t make sense to me.
Adapting to eating correctly. Easier said than done! The body changes with age let alone the drugs your body is processing. Uggg! I shied away from the whole gluten free bandwagon till I tried it to support my brother in his dietary restrictions and you know my body responded positively. Don’t get me wrong I still indulge every once in a while, but started to pay for it the next day. The achiness, the tiredness, the bloating…this is what my body had been trying to tell me!! So yeah you can guess I jumped on that “trend”. Gluten Free (GF) food is expensive, so I eat more protein and veggies. The Italian in me is screaming against this change not to mention GF pasta should just not be consumed. EWWW :P “So, whether you eat or drink, or whatever you do, do all to the glory of God.”
1 Corinthians 10:31
Lastly, I need to pay extra attention to my core, staying active is important for anyone let alone somebody with M.S. With each attack/ episode (doctors call it different things, confusing I know) it wreaks havoc on my core. Whether the challenge is walking correctly or dealing with the M.S. Hug (it’s not as exciting as it sounds, trust me). Regular walks whether outside or at the gym. I’m trying to stay motivated to do something by myself and keep working. I am finding new routines for what my body currently needs. Pilates, yoga and dancing are a great mental break for me and fun too!! It’s hard getting my body to respond or remember what the next step is and I’ve lost my composure more than twice at class before. Maybe this will be another blog but I will always be my self’s hardest critic. A 32 count dance is somewhat easier, definitely compared to a 48 count but I push myself to try because I am trying to exercise those memory muscles. Some dances come back to memory quick and some take a couple walls to get in the rhythm and some I just give up!! It sucks when I have seen the dance for 3+ years, know the song, taken private lessons with the teacher and my brain just won’t remember.
Sometimes the balance is my need to figure out how to be okay with that, even if other people don’t understand. Remember to not let too many different things have too much weight at the same time. When I feel my balance tilting I have become more mindful of making adjustments so said breakdown does not occur because that is embrassing to try and explain. Balance is a process and I am thankful that I now understand the importance of only giving space on my scale to what is truly important.
My favorite reminders:
[if !supportLists]· [endif]“When I’m afraid I put my trust in you” Psalm 56:3
[if !supportLists]· [endif]“Therefore, do not be anxious about tomorrow, for tomorrow will be anxious for itself. Sufficient for the day is its own trouble.” Matthew 6:34
[if !supportLists]· [endif]“Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding.” Proverbs 3:5
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